Marriage and parenting altogether is really difficult to deal with. However, the job of a woman is to be a mother to her kids and a wif...
Marriage and parenting altogether is really difficult to deal with. However, the job of a woman is to be a mother to her kids and a wife to her husband. After all of the efforts and sacrifices that mothers do for their families, they deserve to have a break once in a while.
This woman is already married but her husband lets her have a night to herself.
Just like other beautiful and attractive woman, men more often than not hit on her even though she is seen with a ring on her finger.
This can be flattering to married women but, it is dangerous. For her, being hit on a bar made her become aware of something vital about her marriage with her husband.
Most men would go crazy if they knew that this kind of thing is happening to their wives. If you are in this situation, how would you react? But before doing so, read their story first. Who knows, you and your partner may need this.
She is a stay home mom, but the other night, she was out in a bar away from her house and kids. So she said, “So every couple of weeks I need a break. NEED.”
“I like to go out singing at my favorite karaoke bar. It lets me stretch out in my own skin for a while without any demands being made of me. It’s rejuvenating,” she shared.
Considering that her favorite hangout is the bar, she gets hit on at times.
“After ten years of marriage, I’ve gotten used to explaining to guys that I’m not only married, I’m committed-married. One would think a gold band on the third finger of the left would do it but, more often than not simply elicits questions like, ‘Well, does that matter?’ or ‘If you’re married, why isn’t your husband here with you?’ – As if to imply that married people aren’t allowed hobbies of their own time apart,” she said.
There was a time that when she was out, she experienced something that made her have a different answer to those questions.
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“A nice man (and, yes, married people can find other people nice) was chatting with me when suddenly the questions shifted a bit and I could tell he was starting to feel out if I was available. He as polite about it and after I told him I was married, he asked, ‘Do you think its forever?’” She said.
She mentioned that, that question has never been asked to her before. She responded with, “Well, yes – he’s my best friend!” Then she told her about their life together and things that made their marriage for ‘forever.’
While she was driving on her way home, the question then ran on her mind. She said that she thought of the implications and it gave her “some beautiful revelations.”
“This is a forever marriage.
He truly is my best friend.
I can be out in the world and see other people who are attractive, intelligent, engaging and fun, but they are all of those things in that moment.
My husband is all of those things to me, forever.
The man I’ve met in the moment has no idea which album is my favorite to listen to on Sunday morning while we make brunch.
He doesn’t know how to push my buttons purposely mispronouncing words, or the hilarious arguments that can invoke.
He doesn’t know that when I grab his hands in a certain way, what I’m asking for is an epic thumb wrestling war.
He couldn’t possibly know the words to the song we made up about our old dog, sung to the tune of I’m a little teapot.
This man I’ve just met doesn’t know that I can be depressed in the winter and that I need a little extra emotional support over the months of February and March.
Or that I can be an explosive rage monster when I’m stressed out.
He sure as hell wasn’t there to keep our family from starving to death when we were homeless for a time in 2009.
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He hasn’t put in the long hours of grueling work so his children could be raised at home by one of their own parents, which we agreed to do from the time we first discussed having a family together.
He didn’t intuitively know how to push a pressure point in my back during labor to ease my tension and make for an amazing, spiritual birth of our son.
He certainly didn’t conceive that son with me on a cold Valentine’s night on a crappy old mattress on the floor of a crappy old apartment that perpetually smelled like pot from the neighbors down the hall.
It was the first place we lived with four solid walls after losing our house, and it felt like a mansion.
I’ve always known that we have a ‘forever’ marriage (day by day we choose to make it so),” she said upon realizing everything.
“The guy who asked, ‘Are you happy?’ are asking about now. And, truthfully, not every moment of a marriage is going to be happy. That question doesn’t examine where you’ve been or where you’re going,” she said.
She also said that what these guys ask of you is about what’s happening right now because what they’re aiming for is their satisfaction now. “But I never answer the question in the ‘now,’” she mentioned.
According to her, “Marriage isn’t a ‘now’ thing. It’s a continuum.
She has turned down guys who are nice, creepers and an average drunk guy who keeps on giving out signals and saying words hoping that he’ll a get a shot on her. However, she said, that the rejection that she did was not because of who they are.
“It has everything to do with who my husband is, and what our marriage is,” she concluded.
